Idea for short essay 2

I believe for my short essay 2 I would like to discuss how my life is school and work, both full time as a young adult. I want to share my experiences, happy and stressful. I would like to discuss how working full time for a law firm while finishing my bachelors degree has shaped me into the woman I am. The people in my life who have supported me and who have dealt with my mood swings throughout these years. I also will discuss how I am planning to graduate in the spring and where I hope to end up/what I will do immediately following commencement. 

Short essay 1 draft

Alessia D’Anna

Short Draft 1

November 13, 2013

“Terrible 22’s, or are they?”

It most likely started with an awesome rated R movie you saw in 6^th grade, as you watched in excitement saying to your friends, “Only 7 more years until that’s us!” Or maybe it began with a “cool” story someone’s unfiltered older sibling told you about how they were up all night partying and boozing and totally skipped classes all week. Wherever you were when you first began to think about college, you were most likely years away from the first time you would physically walk into a dorm and understand what things like easy mac/cup of noodles, hangovers and bad decisions really meant.

Despite what you might have heard from word of mouth, you didn’t really know what to expect from the after high school fraction of your life, but think you have some sort of indistinguishable idea and if you’re lucky, you also have a team of friends taking these steps with you and an even larger family encouraging you to keep moving forward! What nobody really explains though, or perhaps they themselves don’t have a grasp on it just yet, is what it feels like at the “end of the road.” Everyone wants to talk about the party but nobody wants to explain what 6 am feels like afterwards. That’s why I’m here, to present the 22 things that Taylor Swift didn’t teach you about being 22:

1. You will be tired. So tired, and not from day drinking.

2. Love feels scary, yet comfortable and primal.

3. Most of your friends don’t give a shit about you.

4. Luckily your family does, even if it may be a little too much at times.

5. Feeding yourself becomes more of a burden than you ever thought possible.

6. Errands are a real thing that requires careful planning and dedicated follow through.

7. You will actually use a lot of the random shit that you said you would never use in school.

8. Unfortunately you somehow did not learn enough random shit and will frequently say really dumb shit at work. Out loud, probably in front of your boss.

9. “How’s work?” will be the only question anyone ever asks you.

10. Money. It leaves as quickly as it comes.

11. If you do anything kinda grown up with your boyfriend/girlfriend people will think you’re getting married.

12. Your family will start to get weird about you getting married. THEY NEVER STOP ASKING!

13. Having no rules will be really fucking scary.

14. It’s harder than you think to make friends, especially good ones.

15. People are racist.

16. You will be selfish without knowing you’re being selfish.

17. You will do great things, because you are confident enough to know you can.

18. Ambition can feel suffocating.

19. You will find gray hairs, and if you haven’t yet… just wait… they’re coming.

20. You will drink to survive not to party.

21. Most of this drinking will be at home, on your couch, in your sweat pants.. and you’ll find that you’re surprisingly more than ok with that.

22. Anything really is possible.

Brainstorming for short essay

For my short essay I do have a few ideas, however I am not sure how I feel about them. Therefore, I will share a list of ideas I may be interested in writing about. Then in class, I want to touch on them individually to see if there are any facts, memories, etc. that I will be able to work with.

1. Work & School combined
2. Friendships - particular ones.
3. Family, Italy v. America
4. In-laws
5. Nephews
6. Being 22, growing older. (How do I feel about it?)

Long essay 2 Draft

Alessia D’Anna

Long Essay 2 Draft

Death then Love

            December 10, 2011 is the day my life changed forever, it is the day I felt whole again, I felt happy and most importantly, I felt loved. My life was finally coming together, even though I was only 20 years old, and since then it has been better than I ever imagined possible. However, all of this change did not come easily; I had suffered immensely and gone through things I wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even someone I hate.

            Two years prior to December 2011 I had suffered a great loss, no.. I had suffered two great losses. In 2009 my uncle was taken from my family in a drunken driving accident where the driver struck my uncle who was crossing the street, and left him on the street to die. As expected in any situation, time healed me and my family of our pain. Finally, I was beginning to feel like myself again. Until May 8, 2010 when I got a call at 4 a.m. “Alessia...” she said faintly over the phone, tears in her throat as she practically choked on her words, “Hernan is dead, he died.”

The next thing I knew I was on the floor in my hall way screaming and crying uncontrollably as my parents tried to hold me and calm me down. Up all night long I kept re-playing that horrible memory back in my head. “How did I even get downstairs in the hallway?” “I don’t remember walking down my stairs; I don’t even remember hanging up the phone with Maria when she told me.” “All I remember was screaming into the phone then screaming on the floor downstairs.” “I don’t remember anything else.” “This has to be a nightmare.” All of these thoughts were running through my head as I lay in my bed that morning after the call, feeling lifeless.

            The following year after his death had been my worst. I had lost my best friend in a drunken driving accident on the Garden State Parkway, after just losing my uncle the same way a year before. Not only was Hernan Sanchez my best friend, but there were romantic feelings between the two of us. No, I was not in love with him but I loved him dearly. I loved him because of who he was. He was kind, loving, friendly to all, smart, extremely ambitious and had such an amazing sense of humor. A month or two before his passing we had decided that maybe we could try to be more than friends. We would hang out almost every day, always in groups of friends, never alone; which I am so thankful for now.  Who knows what could have happened had we been alone, and that could have made my grieving one thousand times worse than it already had been.

However there was always something standing in our way, whether it was scared feelings to move further, or other people trying to ruin our potential, therefore although we tried, we were never officially dating. Not only had I lost my best friend but I had to witness the pain and suffering that his parents and family had gone through. I lived in constant fear that something terrible was going to happen again. I was afraid to leave my home because I thought I might not come back, and my parents would go through what his have gone through.

As time went on, I began to feel better, day by day, but never 100% the same. Until the day I met Tomasz Wisniewski. Actually, I met Tommy in 2007, we had been high school friends and classmates. Tommy was on the soccer team and had a different group of friends than I did, but we were always friendly with one another. We kept in touch from time to time through social networks. Exchanging happy birthdays every year and liking pictures of one another here and there. Then one day, two years after high school I saw Tommy at Kean, in the cafeteria, wearing a green hoodie and I couldn’t stop smiling. As my friend and I walked passed him and some of his friends in the cafeteria we waved hello and she leaned and whispered to me, “Wow, Tommy got so cute!” “I know, holy crap!” I responded and we both laughed as we walked out of the door.

To my surprise Tommy and I began talking more often just weeks after seeing each other. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers and even went on a date or two. And by date I mean, saying we both have to study in the library, just as an excuse to hang out. Usually, the thought of having a “date” at the library would sound comical to me and I would expect to be taken out to dinner, or something a “typical” date consists of. But that night, November 13, 2011, at the library, was the most fun and best time I had had in months. Both of us were extremely nervous but we laughed, talked all night and flirted as the time passed us by so quickly. As we headed home and Tommy  dropped me off all I could think about was how bad I wanted to see him again, everyday after that.

Two years later Tommy and I have still been dating, and the past two years and have been the happiest days of my life. Although as time has passed we have experienced some difficult times in our relationship, the good times we have and have had outweigh the bad days by far. I could never imagine my life without him and I will always do everything in my power to make sure I never have to. Now, at 22 years old I am the happiest I have ever been, my happiness and love for Tommy grows each day and I am so confident that it will only continue to get better. Not only has Tommy made me happy as my boyfriend, but more importantly as my best friend; he is my confidant. Everyday and night he is the person I want to talk to, to tell him how my day went, the person I want to spend the most time with, the person I want to make proud. He is the person I want to share my feelings with, be my true self with, and make my memories with.

Our relationship is a learning process and experience for both of us everyday. There are some days that are better than others, nothing is perfect. Above any and all arguments, disagreements or frustration, our love beats the odds. I remind him as often as I can that he is the one who saved me when I truly needed saving. Although he may not understand in full the things I went through and the terrible emotions I felt, and I hope with my whole heart that he never has to, I will always have those terrible memories in the back of my head. The only difference is now, I have beautiful memories and things to look forward to above those rough times.

Sometimes I hear my own screams in my head, the screams I let out that night I learned about Hernans passing and I cringe. The pain I went through was excruciating, but the happiness I feel now is overwhelming. Not a day, not even a moment, passes by that I am not thankful for Tommy. He is my reason to wake up every morning; he is my past, my present, my future, my purpose, my best friend, my lover, my life.

I will never forget the friend I lost; he will always be in my heart and in my memories. I know deep down inside that he is watching over me, I know that he is happy for me, proud of me and excited for what my future holds. I also know that I am one of the luckiest women in the world, because I fell in love with my best friend. Thank you, Tomek, for all you are and all you do. I love you, five.

            

Best long essay

A mother’s love and a daughter’s growth

Alessia D’Anna

ENG*4017*01

October 2, 2013

            “Hey Ale, I am having surgery Wednesday but we don’t know anything yet so I don’t want you to worry,” my mother told me over the phone on Friday, September 30, 2013. Immediately I felt panic and worry rush over me as I tried my hardest not to think of the worse possible scenario, but that’s all I could think of. That’s me, always worried that something bad is going to happen to the people I love, always afraid that one day those who mean the most will no longer be able to hug or kiss me, because I fear they will be taken away in the worst possible way.

            My mother, Francesca D’Anna, as cliché as this sounds, is the strongest person I know, my idol and the light of my life. The bond between a mother and daughter can never be compared to any other relationship. Although I have always felt this way about my mother, I cannot lie and say that our relationship has always been great, because in all honesty, it has not been. In our relationship we have had laughs, cries, dishonesty, truths, extreme hardships and pure happiness. Each of these emotions has brought on learning experiences, for the both of us.

            “Mom, can you just let me talk? I have things I need to say and you are being so unfair by not listening!”

            “I don’t have to do anything you ask me to because I’m YOUR mother, I tell you what to do and you listen to me, not the other way around. I don’t care what you have to say!” As I turned to walk away and began to head upstairs to my bedroom, tears in my eyes, not from sadness but from such a great deal of anger, I heard my mother stomping behind me, “Don’t you ever walk away from me while I speak to you, get your shit and get out!” she yelled, standing two inches away from my face. Then after some yelling back and forth between the two of us, one voice louder than the other at every chance we got, my younger sister in tears with a bright red face feeling fear and sadness as she watched, my father asking my mother over and over again to stop and take a breath as he picked up the pile of clothes from my closets that my mother was throwing into garbage bags for me to take with me wherever I went, and an extreme amount of tears on my end, I actually left.

            At the moment of running out of my house, down the stairs and into my car with only a toothbrush, one pair of under wear, leggings, a sweater and shoes, because I left too quickly and angrily to try and grab the “bags” my mother had packed for me, numerous emotions fell over me the moment I sat in my car, turned the key in the ignition and took a breath before driving off of onto Morris Avenue. Panic, regret, anger, sadness, confusion and fear are just a few of those emotions. “What do I do now,” I thought. About ten minutes later I sat balling my eyes out in front of a random house where I decided to park my car because the tears from crying the entire drive were building up so much my eyes began to swell and I could not even see straight as I drove. That is when I knew I could not go back to my house, at least not tonight.

I had to call Tommy, my boyfriend, the one person I knew would come save me and at least make me feel ok the best he could. “It’s going to be ok, babe,” Tommy continued to repeat. “You can stay with me tonight or as long as you want/need, but you have to talk to her eventually, you both love each other too much to let this fight be the end of your relationship,” he said as he comforted me. “Right now I just want to shower and get into bed, I can’t even think of going back, I don’t care if I never do! I can make it on my own.” I responded angrily, knowing deep down inside all I wanted was to be in my own bed at that very moment.

After spending a night at my boyfriends’ house my father called me the next morning and asked me to come home and bring my things back into my bedroom, because my mother had thrown the garbage bags full of clothes and shoes into our front porch, but for the next few days to keep to myself and not speak to my mother. So that is exactly what I did. I woke up in the morning, went to work until 5:00 p.m., school until around 9-10:15 p.m., boyfriends’ house for dinner or to get homework done, and especially since he was the only one who could get a smile out of me, and the only one I felt comfortable releasing my true sad and scared feelings to, and then home to sleep and completely isolated myself from my family for about a week.

Walking into my house one night the following week after class around 9 p.m. I decided, now or never. I walked upstairs into my parents’ bed room and simply said, “Mom, can you come upstairs? I want to talk.” To my surprise my mother got up and quietly followed me upstairs to my room. “Crap, where do I even start?” I thought to myself, “Ok just say how you feel, but remember stay calm, no yelling. When it is her turn to talk, listen, even if you don’t agree, just let her speak and we will hopefully work through this.”“Ok, I’ll talk first. Please let me say everything I have to, then you will speak with no interruptions on how you are feeling and finally we are going to resolve this one way or another.”

            About thirty minutes passed since we began our talk and I had never felt closer to her than I did in that moment. “Do you think I wanted you to leave, Alessia?” she asked, “you are my child, I gave birth to you. There is no one in this world I love more than you and your sister, everything I do is for you two and when things like this happen, trust me when I say it, it hurts me so much more than it hurts you.” After sharing my feelings of the past few days and even reliving past events that occurred in the house, that had made me unhappy, for once I felt like she truly understood me as a human, a woman, an adult, not just as her child. And I understood her as a caring woman and friend, not just my mother. We both sat quietly as the other spoke and took in every word and compromised on ways to make us both happy and to fix our relationship to continue to make it better so the extremes of this argument never happens again. We both were aware that there will be times when we bud-heads and disagree, but talking through these situations calmly and with open minds is what will keep us moving forward.

            Throughout my growing years, changing from a child to a pre-teen, to a teen and then into a young adult my mother and I have had countless arguments, trust me that is not the first. Some arguments occurred over things I did which she was unhappy about, some over friends she did not trust but I wanted so badly to have them as a part of my life as a teen, because lets face it as a teenager you think without friends your world is over. Other fights happened over boys, some over my younger sister, and that list can go on.

            I am the eldest daughter therefore being the first child my parents were learning how to be parents since the day I was born. I was the child they were stricter with as a young girl, the child who did things first. Got in trouble first, liked boys first, cried over friends first, got my period first, went through the bitchy teen phase first, graduated high school first, got a job first and now soon, I will be their first child to be graduating college.

            I remember being in middle school like it was yesterday. Middle school years are the years you learn how to be a bit more independent, prepare yourself for high school and try to find out who you really are. I wanted my mom to let me have more freedom and make my own decisions, I had no idea what those decisions would be but I just wanted them to be mine! I was an immature girl who had no idea what real life was like but because I was an official teen, I thought I could handle anything. I was invincible, or so I thought.

            “Mom, seriously why are you making me wear this? It’s a red shirt, red pants and black shoes. It’s hideous; everyone is going to make fun of me!” “No one is going to make fun of you, it looks good, its picture day and I have the last word so get dressed and get in the car.” Boy, did I have an attitude that day. I gave my mother an attitude all day long, when she was just trying to be nice to me and be friendly, but I was so furious I wanted nothing to do with her.

Throughout middle school more arguments occurred such as that day and although I never meant to hurt my mother, I can now admit that I was the biggest bitch at that lousy age and when I think back about it, I truthfully can’t blame my mom for being strict with me, making me listen to her, etc. The way she treated me as a younger girl is the reason why she treats me so differently now.

At the current age of twenty-one, a few days away from twenty-two, I have matured into a full time worker and student, striving towards new possibilities and making new memories. I have turned into the woman I am because of my parents, especially from looking up to my mother and trying to be even half of the woman she is. The amount of trust my mother has in me has been built from these arguments, fall outs and repairs. The trust was gone for a while, a couple of times, but it’s back and better than ever.

A mother-daughter relationship is one of the hardest relationships to maintain. With any parent-child relationship, it is often hard for the parent to remember that although their children are THEIR children, they are still their own individuals. Those individuals must grow, physically and mentally, they must take on experiences either alone, with the help of others (family, friends, professors, peers, co-workers, etc.) and unfortunately sometimes without their parents. Children must find their own identity, take everything their parents have taught them and create their own lives.

Just the same, it is difficult for a child, speaking from experience, to remember and realize that no matter what their parents are always going to protect them. This may not always be in a literal sense meaning your mother or father will be there to chase away bullies, write their children’s 20 page papers for their senior seminars, and speak to managers when they upset their children at work, or yell at the bank for not approving their baby for a loan. Protection means emotionally and mentally as well. Your parents will always have your best interest in mind and at heart. When they give you advice, whether you like it or not, it is simply because they want you to be aware of all possibilities in a situation. It is hard for children to remember that although they may not be kids anymore because they are growing, they are still their parents’ children. As we grow older, so do our parents.

“Oh my god mom you will never guess what happened!” “Mom what should I wear out tonight?” “Mom, guess what Tommy did for me today?” “Mom I don’t feel well please make me feel better, somehow.” “Mom do you want to go to the mall or watch a movie tonight” “Mom, whats for dinner I am starving?” “Hey mom, I love you.” My mother is the root of my world. Her ways of raising me have taught me how to be independent, strong, build relationships, be a woman, love myself and others, and never to take anyone’s shit.

“All that I am or hope to be I owe to my angel mother,” a quote from Abraham Lincoln. Due to past experiences of losing loved ones and my knowledge that life does not stop for anyone, I know there will a day, hopefully very far from today, when my mother and I will not be together. Until then, I plan to spend my days making her happy and proud. Although she does everything in her world for me, she does not know that everything I do is for her.

Brainstorming for draft 2 for the long essay

Below are some ideas I have thought might be a good topic for me to write on for long essay 2. They are not definite. If I choose one I definitely need to brainstorm more ideas within that idea. Just some thoughts...


Ideas:

1. September 11, my father
- Memories of the day
-- Where was I?
-- Who told me?
- How have we been affected since then?
- How has he been affected since then?

2. Two year anniversary with Tommy
-How was I prior?
- How has he changed me?
- Good times?
-Bad times?
-Family involvement?
- Future?

3. Relationship with sister
- Growth for the two of us
- Bond between sisters
- How are we alike?
-How are we different?

Edits to long essay 1

I received great feed back from classmates and my professor on my long essay number 1 titled, "A mothers love and a daughters growth." I also received some ideas how on how to better my CNF writing. I believe if I were to choose to essay to publish I would add some more detail in specific areas of my piece, giving my readers more information to relate better to certain instances I speak about. I could also add one or two more memories about my mother and I that have to do with my growth idea, memories that were good and bad for both of us.